Feel Good Vibes

Things are falling just the way I want them to be I don't even have to lift a finger. I got 98 percent in my Bio chem exam that's something! I'm not boasting but I didn't even study for that exam I don't know how the hell that happened but I'm thankful it did. I just feel good. maybe I learned a lot of things from what has happened to me from the past. Enough with the drama and just enjoy life, you only have one life to live you know so make the most out of it. I feel like I'm a better person and I love myself even more haha!

The first part of this day (July 5, 2009) I just slept but then I realized that I need to do something very important.Wait! what I wrote was weird, how can you realize something if you're sleeping hahaha! I need to study for my COMPANA exam so I went to town with Carlo and Kate and studied at McDonald's then SB after and wohoo thankfully I memorized all the bones of the cat as well as a chickens bone. Now I only need to memorize 2 more animals (turtle and shark) ill do it tomorrow. Hope our hardwork pays off by getting a high grade. We really worked our butts of just to memorize all those structures.

To my special friend lets just continue what we have ok. Theres no need to rush we'll see what happens. I know were headed that way we just need to be patient and know each other more takecare of your turtles and fishes :)

Hey and one more thing!!!!!!! the most important part is slowly im recovering from my broken heart. Eventhough that person doesn't want to talk to me anymore its ok ill still treat that person as a friend. And my first entry, remember my bestbud Mr. Redhot Chilli Pepper? were ok now. gaguhan moments again hahaha!! prepare for soar muscles, broken ribs, and insulting words that we always laugh about hahahah!!! Yes! everythings really going great and Im going to savor this moment. . . . . .

Munch on that Brownie

I never gave up I just respected you're decision I hope you're happy with you're choice. Every now and then I tell myself that I'm going to fight for the both of us but I guess that wont do any good. I carried you in my arms but now you want to walk with you're own feet, and like a parent who loves his child unconditionally I'm setting you free. But before you go I'm leaving you with memories and lessons that we will both carry as we take different paths in our lives. I never cheated on you I hope someday you'll understand that. It's so unfair that it has to be this way when I know that my intentions are genuine. I'll just be here silently waiting in your shadows waiting for you to realize how much I love you. And when that time comes please don't hesitate to look back because I will be there ready to endure every pain ready to give my all with arms wide open I will carry you back in my arms. It will take a lot of courage for me to get through this, it will hurt as hell waiting for you but the point is ill be waiting and if that's the only thing left for me to do then let it be. I may be waiting for nothing but just let me love you unconditionally, sincerely, genuinely even if it is not reciprocated. You will always be special to me. Go lagay mo na ung brownies sa oven then vanilla ice cream! yay haha!

It's Sunday and its a special day for our mom's, IT'S MOTHERS DAY. I woke up and gave a simple card to my mom and it felt good ;) its been years since I last gave my mom a mothers day card

We'll I woke up with a hangover from what happened yesterday night, and today I'm leaving again for Nueva Ecija. I was there for 2 weeks for our summer practicum and I have one more week left to complete my hours, I'm leaving at 2 pm and be back in Manila maybe on thursday or friday. I just want to share what I have learned in the two weeks that I was in Nueva Ecija (the place where rice rules).

This trip was an emotional roller coaster for me and now I know and I felt what they meant about that cliche. I felt every up's and down's of this nerve racking and fun ride. Every drop of the ride pulls me down to the ground until it reached a point where it shattered all of me. Why are you like that? Why do you give in so easily? I told you that I'll be back and everythings going to be ok but you told me that youre learning to live without me and thats just a few days from the time I left. It's like I'm holding on a branch of tree beside a cliff, and everytime you question our relationship its as if you're removing my grip on this piece of wood by pushing my hands down one finger at a time. But I held on and made sure that I had a tight grasp on that branch because giving up also means falling in my own death. Yes holding on was painful my arms are already numb and my hands are sore worst my heart is broken but every second that I kept on holding I am learning and it makes me a better person and the more I am inspired to take care of you and to understand you. Ok so the downs are over and here comes the nerve racking and the fun part of the ride the UP's oh yeah hehehe. Every moment just makes me smile blood gushing in my veins, chills in my spines, the adrenaline that I feel as if I can lift a car because of the strength and hapiness that I feel. And no kryptonite can stand in my way. That time that I was in the car going home I was only thinking of you. I prayed to God to stop the rain and wished that there was no traffic. Instantly! fresh from Nueva I went to you're house. It was midnight and it was our first monthsary. You were shocked because you didn't expect me to come back that day. The moment I saw you come out and walking towards me my heart stopped, I dont know what to do I was just awed and filled with joy. I was in cloud 9. . . .13 days that I was away and here you are standing in front of me, someone I can see and touch and its not just my imagination. First thing that came into my mind was to hug you and we did, it was the perfect moment, it was raining a little bit and it was cold because of the time and the weather. I felt you're warm hug that thawed my frozen heart and re-energized my tired body. I missed you, I missed you bigtime! We were talking you were a little teary eyed I looked fine but you didn't know that tears run behind my eyes now I have 5 more days to spend at Nueva and I know that we can get trough it. I know that we love each other but let this be a learning experience for the both of us. Thank you for not giving up and for being there I love you baby. <3

Mr. Red Hot Chili Pepper

Where did I go wrong I lost a friend - this is a line from the song How to Save a Life by The Fray and this is exactly how I feel right now, there is this feeling that I am losing one of my closest friends in college. Things just keep on getting awkward for the both of us, we used to make fun of each other and now were like strangers to each other. It's hard for me to see my friend drifting away because I really value all of the memories that we had together all the laughter and all the stories that we have shared. I tried talking to him about this issue because honestly I really don't know why he suddenly became cold to me however he's not the kind of person who likes to talk about this kind of stuff. If I tried my best to make this friendship work, I think that I can confidently say that I did but the thing is if I'm the only one who wants to make this work there's no use in trying, it takes two to tango and he needs to realize that he also needs to lend his hands in saving our friendship. Honestly speaking, there are times that I really get pissed because like I said, I've been doing everything but it seems that he doesn't respond to that effort that I make. Right now I'm going to stop trying and maybe put our friendship on hiatus but if ever he reads this I just want him to know that I'll always be here as his friend. Zafril Salvador umayos na tyo seryoso. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Everytime I cry I feel so heavy so I'm going to sleep now. .another dark cloud, and its all good. . bring it on! :)